Mike here, wanting to touch on a couple issues we all face when it comes to online dating. I’m sure you’ve found it hard to know what kinds of activities are best suited to having that first in-person meeting with someone you met online. Lord knows there are so many options, and you don’t want to come across as boring or stale in your suggestion. After reading a couple of other dating web-site review sites, I’ve noticed there are a lot of scam sites out there. You need to be careful, and choose the websites wisely.
The pub where you get Friday night drinks with your pals, for example, is not a good option. Even though it might feel familiar to you, you want it to feel familiar for her too. So if you are struggling with online dating, here’s a list of the possible reasons why, and some ideas I’ve picked up that might solve your dating dilemma.
This means that you are basically letting her dictate all the conversational topics, and the development of your relationship. She is probably already aware of this, and not too impressed because having to do all the initiation is tiring. You probably let conversations hold over for a couple days, and you have not suggested any actual meet-up scenario. It’s easy to get into this hole of expectation in online dating – but you must remember that taking initiative is the best way to improve your dating life.
If your initiative is not being well received, the reconsider how to and when you ask. Being a keener can sometimes come across as being desperate, and that’s the worst situation to be in. Suggest dates that are less serious, less built up to be something special. Again, it’s about lowering expectations because that takes all the pressure off. Initiate always has to match the input of the other person, so make sure to listen and respond accordingly to everything she says. If she says NO, then don’t the point, suggest something else.
Bad Date Location Choices
This is the real game-changer, and probably the main reason why you are struggling in your dating life. It’s a terrible idea to take someone who is a vegetarian to a dinner. It is equally unwise to suggest going to a rock show with someone who has told you they don’t like loud spaces. It’s always best to suggest a date location that brings something unexpected out of your date. Don’t bring her somewhere she is familiar with, for example. Bring her somewhere special, unique, where you can be alone and have a chance to get used to each other’s vibe.
I always like to suggest a cafe’s on weekends for initial dates, because they are comfortable places with a lot of food and beverage options, where everyone is chatting away and getting to know each other anyway. Another great option from my experience is to go on walks in local parks, or go down to the water. There’s always something to talk about because the scenery always changes, and being outside has a way of taking the pressure off too.
You Are Moving Too Quickly
Usually this is not a problem, but sometimes it holds me back. Timing is really important, and that means understanding where she is at. It’s pretty effective to jump right into a date after meeting someone if they seem open to exciting opportunities and taking chances. It can be as quick as five minutes of messaging and then boom you have a date. But these ladies are few and far between, so if you find one then you are a lucky guy!
Otherwise, take your time and be honest, because honesty will be your best policy down the line. You don’t want to get caught in a series of lies that make you out to be someone you are not. Move slowly, and ask a lot of questions. I know it’s hard, but I also know that it pays off in spades. There are many ladies out there who can appreciate you for who you are. It’s only a matter of time until you find them!
Change Your Profile and Description
This is never a bad idea when things are going stale, or even after about a year or so. Keep your page fresh and exciting for you so that it’s fun to talk about yourself. Also, no one wants to think you are clean shaven only to finally meet you and you have a massive beard. Think of it as an extension of your social media profile – just a sexier version.